Febresolutions 2014

So yes it is February and eleven days in... However, I do not agree with making resolutions in January. It is the worst month of the year when one is already thoroughly depressed. To be honest, I have never liked resolutions as a rule, they are always so negative and dull. Focusing on forsaking the things we love and berating ourselves for not being good enough people. From last year I really decided that I would never start the new year with such predictability. But it seems almost impossible not to get excited by the prospect of the proverbial clean page.. or an excuse to alter our Christmas-clogged psyches that last had a re-jig in the post-summer haze of back-to-school September. I also advocate starting in Feb, this may be because my birthday and about ten of my friends are in January and so our Christmas excess and lack of concentration on anything but celebration seems to last extra-long.

My 2013 - let's call it aspiration - was to "dwell in possibility" (a little vague??) as well as to start blogging and writing again and to go to bed earlier. It was only really in the last part of the year that I began to heed these resolutions and actually begun writing again. I tried to go to bed earlier for about a week.. This did not last.

This year, I feel in the perfect place to do much more... And so here they are, my aims for 2014 written down as much for myself as for anyone else reading: I'll warn you there's 15 - should be able to accomplish one surely...  Do not expect any promises to give up smoking or drink less as really... if that's what you want... look away now.

1) Learn to Code Properly

Apparently everyone should have the skill. It makes you, you know a "desirable" employee. For me it's really about being able to make stuff look good; to be able tinker about with websites for clients and myself without you know calling the tech guy.. Because really it's so much easier if you can do things yourself. At the moment I can do basics through google. Also, I'd like to make this site look better. 

2) Embrace Awkward

Whether it's innate shyness, extreme Britishness or something else. I have a severe fear of the awkward situation. Not just a normal #cringe moment, I go in to full blown fear. At the moment, I have a policy of avoid or run- away. I can't even watch awkward situations on films or tv shows, I turn away and cover my ears. In real life situations, I walk away or change the subject if anything awkward comes up. I never go on dates for fear of awkward, or if I do, I get tipsy enough that I don't feel the awkward. However I believe in facing your fears so for me, it's time to face the awkward. Quite how to do this and how exactly I will fight my natural instincts.. Is yet to be seen.

2) Write My Play

I have had the idea for a good six months and I think it's a good one. I've been scared of the form and the genre, I'm used to writing prose and haven't written a play script for ten years. However, I think the idea is so good that someone else will write it soon if I don't, and that will annoy me soooo much.

3)  Have a Night of Passion with Harry Styles or Marry Benedict Cumberbatch

Yeah ok, this one's obv a silly one. Have a curly-crush on the 1D Lothario, even though he most likely bats for the other team and is substantially younger. #perv. As for Benedict, totally in love with that man. He's just so clever and slightly odd-looking which I enjoy. There's no harm putting it down on paper... You never know...

4) Cook

Have started cooking more recently and vow to do more, for health and hosting reasons. Maybe will also add to my potential wife-skills #stillafeminist

5) Continue to Write and Not Just on Here

Writing might be the activity that makes me feel the most content and grounded in life (as well as angry and exasperated at times). Yet for three years I did not write one word that wasn't work related.

Chewed up by the 7-7 London life that we trip along through from desk to treadmill, from transport to social occasion, meal to life admin. I forgot - or more like avoided - doing what I loved because I was scared to. Late 2013, I began writing this blog and now I feel like I'm ready to write more and more and hopefully even for publication. Prose and poetry and screenplays and articles - I want to try it all.

6) Get Body the Best it Can Be Whilst Still Under 30 as Not Much Time Left (and Climb the Three Peaks)

I'm an all or nothing girl when it comes to exercise. Either a total gym-bunny; obsessed and depressed if I miss a workout or not doing anything at all and living the life of the London work-hard, play-hard and nothing in between kind of girl. At 28 though, it's time to get myself into the best shape I can before my body won't do what I tell it to so easily...

I've wanted to do the three peaks for five years at least and as part of my fitness goal and because my angel little sister is constantly doing impressive fitness feats, this is the year.

7) Be Early or at Least On Time

Perpetually 15 minutes late to EVERYTHING. I've always hated feeling constrained when I don't have to. I don't feel like it's a rude thing, more like a daydreamer thing. Though I don't like the thought that it comes across rude to others...So I'm giving it a go from now on....

8) Walk and Read

When I walk I find my brain settles on it's best ideas and so walking to and / or from work every day seems like a smart idea. Plus it helps with the above.

As a child I was a bookworm, literally nose always in a book and I still am... But these days so many other things seem to distract me. I want to try and make sure I get through at least a book a month. Not only do I enjoy it, but it powers my brain and how can I hope to be a good writer if I don't read.

9) Try to Eat Minimal Sugar as You Drink Enough of it at Weekends

Sugar is the devil and addictive and makes you fat. But I love white wine. And that's really it. 

10) Date

I hate dating (see embrace awkward above). I've always found it terribly American and fake, but really I'm not likely to find the love of my life bar hopping or at work, so I think I need to do more of it. I also relish the opportunity for amusing material for this blog.

11) Paperwork, Cash & Adult Shit

I hate paperwork, leave it in piles until I give myself a panic attack from the stress and I'm pretty bad with money. Again a growing-up point but more because I know it will make me happier if I am organised.

12) Tattoo

I used to think they were dreadful and dirty, or at least something people did to follow the crowd. I've scoffed at friends who have them. Now I want one, probably because I finally know and trust myself enough to not regret it. Watch this space...

13) Give Something

Life is better when you do things for other people. I think I'm pretty thoughtful to my friends and family- most of the time. However, I want to do something for a bigger cause for someone who really needs it. 

14) Tech-NO

So I'm a little too addicted to the internet, to social media: instagram, Facebook, twitter, linkedin, pinterest, vine - you name it, I've dabbled. I'm subscribed to hundreds of blogs, viral sites and everything in between. I know though that I should switch off at least one night a week. Nothing after 7pm. One can only try..

15) De-clutter and DIY

I'm not a horder per se, I just collect a lot of things that I do not regularly sort out. I've endless bags of clothes I no longer wear, boxes full of ticket stubs, postcards and souvenirs from long forgotten holidays. Files from courses I did years ago reside in "bags for life" with loose photos, broken phones and fliers for plays that are long since over. I'm the sort that thinks - I'll deal with that later, I might need it someday.. I want to cherish that memory. More often than not it takes up useful space. Hence the de-cluttering and quite frankly, like the paperwork above, it stresses me out. 

Once the clutter is cleared, there's so many things that I want to do to my lovely house, paint walls, rescue some furniture from junk shops and make my little haven even more mine...

Let's see how many of the above fifteen I stick to....


*None of these images are (c) mine except the top one....